SGA rough draft

[auntiemeesh]

This is just a snippet I've been playing with the past day or two. I'm not sure it entirely does what I want it to do, but I thought I'd post it anyway. Feel free to make suggestions for improvement.

Sheppard's eyes lit up as he took in the sight of the scientist draped across the lab table, a light snore the only sound in the stunned silence of the room.

Looking up, he met Zelenka's equally amused gaze, a positively evil expression crossing the Czech's face as he realized the ramifications of what he'd just seen.

Lips twitching in sympathy, Sheppard looked back down to McKay, now drooling on his laptop, before shifting his gaze to the small device McKay had handed him a moment before. The device, which had been a matte black before activation, was now glowing warmly, nestled snugly in the palm of his hand.

"I think I'll just hold on to this one," he remarked, allowing a grin to stretch his features as he slipped the device into his pocket.

Comments

[auntiemeesh.livejournal.com]

I have to fine tune it a little bit more, make it more clear what happened. I have a hard time keeping it short and simple once I start fiddling; everything but the kitchen sink gets added and suddenly it's become an entire book.