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danachan asked for a Merry/Pippin fic. I promised her I would expand on Crossroads, which I wrote for her as a drabble. Here is the expansion. Warning -- it's slash, but only very mildly so. Probably a PG rating just for being slash.
Crossroads
Betaed bymaripo5a
Merry stood frozen in the doorway. His cousin was curled up on the sofa, staring, half-asleep, into space. The lamplight flickered over Pippin’s features, making him look much younger than his twenty-eight years. Far too young to be allowed to come on this oh-so-dangerous journey of theirs. Making up his mind, Merry entered the room and approached his cousin.
Pippin looked up as Merry approached, and the older cousin caught his breath. There was a look in Pippin’s eyes such as Merry had never seen before. A look that said here was no mere tweenager, to be sent home now the game had turned deadly serious. A look that demanded respect without even knowing it. Undone entirely by that look, and knowing he might regret this for the rest of his life, Merry swallowed the words he’d been about to say. Instead he held out his hand.
“Come to bed, love. We’ve an early morning tomorrow.”
Eyes softening, Pippin uncurled himself and stood, taking Merry’s hand. “Yes, I suppose we do, at that.”
***
Merry lay awake in the dark, thinking about everything he’d seen and heard earlier. The three travelers had been quite frightened when he found them that evening, on the other side of the river. Even old Maggot, one of the steadiest folks he knew, had been near to jumping out of his skin. Their story of strange black riders tracking them across the Shire sounded like so much nonsense, but he’d seen that shadow across the river as they’d disembarked from the ferry.
They had all known that Frodo was in trouble and would need their help, but Merry hadn’t expected the trouble to start while they were still in the Shire. Just then, his thoughts were interrupted as Pippin muttered in his sleep and twitched restlessly.
Poor Pip, he reflected affectionately. He’d tried to downplay his fear, but the desperate edge to their lovemaking had not all been due to their recent separation or the unlikelihood of privacy on the upcoming trip. Once again, Merry wondered how he could justify allowing Pippin to come with them. They’d had this argument several times over, however, and it would do no good to bring it up again. Pippin always won, and always would win, because Merry couldn’t honestly imagine going on this adventure without Pippin. He thought back to the first time he’d tried to convince Pippin to stay behind.
On an evening in early May, Merry and Pippin slipped through the door of The Gilded Swan, a small inn in Bucklebury which was a favorite Brandybuck haunt. It was a quiet night, with only a few locals eating a late supper or having a half with friends. They settled at their usual table and caught the eye of the barmaid. Merry waited until she had brought them mugs and a pitcher of ale, wiped their table with a rag and wandered back to the bar before he broached the subject of the Conspiracy.
“I want you out of this business, Pip,” he said in a low voice. “It’s not just a matter of a jaunt through the wilds anymore. It’s going to be dangerous.”
Pippin gave Merry an unreadable look. “If it’s so dangerous that I can’t come along, then I don’t think you should go, either.”
“Someone has to go with Frodo.” Merry was surprised that Pippin was so ready to abandon their cousin. “You know we can’t let him go off alone. He’ll need more than just Sam to look after him.”
“And you’ve appointed yourself that person without any discussion of the matter, have you?” There was an edge to Pippin’s voice, but Merry tried not to hear it.
“There doesn’t need to be any discussion. I can’t let Frodo go alone, and I can’t let you come. It isn’t safe.”
Merry wasn’t sure how he expected Pippin to respond, but what he did not expect was laughter, which is just what he got.
“Meriadoc Brandybuck, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say, and I’ve heard you say some truly absurd things.”
Merry flushed but refused to give up. “You’re too young. You’re still almost five years from your majority. I don’t have your parents’ permission to take you away from the Shire.”
“Too young, you say,” Pippin responded casually. Too casually. “I suppose that means I’m too young for...other things as well. Unless you’ve obtained my parents’ permission for that.”
Oh, this was not going at all well. But then, he hadn’t truly expected it to go well. He took a large taste of his ale before starting again, “Pippin--”
“What are you trying to say?” Pippin interrupted Merry, “that you love Frodo more than I do? Or is it just that you’re tired of my company? Is that it? If it’s just that you’re ready to move on, then you should say so. I can move back to the Smials tomorrow. I’m overdue for a visit with my family anyway and they’ll be more than happy to have me stay there this time.”
Merry felt a hint of panic at this. Pippin couldn’t mean that-- and yet, he looked quite cool and calm, sitting across the table from him. Refilling his mug, he drained it in one go before filling it again.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Pippin. Listen, dearest, I just don’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you out there.” Sweat was beading on his forehead and he wondered when it had got so hot in here. Taking another large gulp of his ale, he began to wish he’d never brought this subject up.
“So you’ll go, in order to watch over Frodo--but who will watch over you?” Pippin inquired, finally beginning to sound angry. “Do you think I could bear to sit at home and not know if you were alive or dead, each and every day?” Now it was Pippin’s turn to take a rather large gulp of ale. “You might as well forget this truly foolish idea of leaving me behind, Merry, because you know it will never happen. I will come with you, or I will follow you, but I will not be left behind.”
Pippin’s eyes were snapping in anger and determination, and Merry swallowed what he’d been about to say. He had quite clearly been outmaneuvered by the wily young Took, at least for today. Shaking his head, he finished his ale and moved the conversation to other topics, but he didn’t an easy breath until Pippin’s face lost that hard edge and he managed to get his cousin laughing again.
Once again, Merry was brought out of his thoughts as Pippin tossed uneasily, crying out sharply once before sitting bolt upright. Merry sat up quickly as well, grabbing Pippin and holding him tightly. The younger hobbit made no more sound but stared about wildly, white-faced and shaking in Merry’s arms.
“Shh, it’s alright, Pip, I’m here. You’re safe.” Merry murmured soothing nonsense until Pippin relaxed in his arms, twisting around to rest his head against Merry’s shoulder, breathing deeply as he tried to control his fear.
“Oh, love,” Merry murmured. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” Pippin mumbled thickly. Another deep breath and he pulled back, although he stayed within the protective circle of Merry’s arms. “I’m sorry to wake you,” he apologized quietly.
“Well, you didn’t wake me, truth be told,” Merry admitted. “As a matter of fact I was just thinking that what I needed was a cup of warm milk. Would you like some?”
“Mm, that sounds nice.”
“Do you want me to bring it in here, or shall we go out to the kitchen and see if there’s anything interesting in the pantry, while we’re at it?”
That drew a smile, still a bit shaky, from Pippin. “I might have a few corners that could use filling,” the young hobbit admitted. “I wonder if there are any of those mushrooms left.”
There weren’t any mushrooms, it turned out, but there was just enough cobbler for two hungry hobbits. Merry heated the milk, adding a dash of honey, vanilla and cinnamon, while Pippin dished up the cobbler. They ate in companionable silence, neither of them particularly wanting to share their thoughts. In unspoken agreement, they washed their dishes before returning to their room. No sense leaving Fatty with extra dishes to wash after he saw them off in the morning.
They went back to bed then, Pippin curling up in Merry’s arms. “I was dreaming about you, you know,” Pippin said, so quietly Merry had to strain to hear him. “In my dream, I let you convince me to stay behind, and then you...you died and I could have saved you if I had been there. I knew that in the dream, but I wasn’t there and you died.”
He turned to face Merry, one hand coming up to play with the tendrils of hair falling across Merry’s forehead. “I saw that look on your face, earlier. Do you understand now, why I won’t let you leave me behind?”
“Oh, my dearest Pip.” Merry kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you pain. I just...” he broke off, resting his forehead against Pippin’s. “I love you, and I worry for you,” he continued eventually. “I know that you have to go, every bit as much I do, and I don’t even want to leave you behind. But it’s tearing me up that I might not be able to protect you, out there. It’s bad enough that Frodo has to go. He must, and there are no choices involved in it. But with you, there is a choice. And I know that choice is yours to make, and you’ve made it. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty and terribly afraid.”
It was Merry who was trembling, now, and Pippin who offered comfort. “Shh, it’s alright. You are a ridiculous Brandybuck, you know. It’s going to be all right, Merry. We’re going to protect each other, and we’ll both protect Frodo, if Sam allows us to do so.”
Merry smiled a bit at that. Sam could be a bit possessive of Frodo at times. He wasn’t going to complain, though. Without Sam, both of them would have been left in the dark as to Frodo’s plans. Sighing deeply, Merry kissed Pippin softly and closed his eyes. It was late and morning would be upon them all too soon. Pippin shifted slightly in his arms, settling down into a more comfortable position. Within a few minutes his breathing had evened out into a gentle snore. It was only a few minutes more before Merry joined him in sleep, hoping they weren’t making a mistake, but content that they would be together, whatever they might face.
danachan asked for a Merry/Pippin fic. I promised her I would expand on Crossroads, which I wrote for her as a drabble. Here is the expansion. Warning -- it's slash, but only very mildly so. Probably a PG rating just for being slash.Crossroads
Betaed by
maripo5aMerry stood frozen in the doorway. His cousin was curled up on the sofa, staring, half-asleep, into space. The lamplight flickered over Pippin’s features, making him look much younger than his twenty-eight years. Far too young to be allowed to come on this oh-so-dangerous journey of theirs. Making up his mind, Merry entered the room and approached his cousin.
Pippin looked up as Merry approached, and the older cousin caught his breath. There was a look in Pippin’s eyes such as Merry had never seen before. A look that said here was no mere tweenager, to be sent home now the game had turned deadly serious. A look that demanded respect without even knowing it. Undone entirely by that look, and knowing he might regret this for the rest of his life, Merry swallowed the words he’d been about to say. Instead he held out his hand.
“Come to bed, love. We’ve an early morning tomorrow.”
Eyes softening, Pippin uncurled himself and stood, taking Merry’s hand. “Yes, I suppose we do, at that.”
***
Merry lay awake in the dark, thinking about everything he’d seen and heard earlier. The three travelers had been quite frightened when he found them that evening, on the other side of the river. Even old Maggot, one of the steadiest folks he knew, had been near to jumping out of his skin. Their story of strange black riders tracking them across the Shire sounded like so much nonsense, but he’d seen that shadow across the river as they’d disembarked from the ferry.
They had all known that Frodo was in trouble and would need their help, but Merry hadn’t expected the trouble to start while they were still in the Shire. Just then, his thoughts were interrupted as Pippin muttered in his sleep and twitched restlessly.
Poor Pip, he reflected affectionately. He’d tried to downplay his fear, but the desperate edge to their lovemaking had not all been due to their recent separation or the unlikelihood of privacy on the upcoming trip. Once again, Merry wondered how he could justify allowing Pippin to come with them. They’d had this argument several times over, however, and it would do no good to bring it up again. Pippin always won, and always would win, because Merry couldn’t honestly imagine going on this adventure without Pippin. He thought back to the first time he’d tried to convince Pippin to stay behind.
On an evening in early May, Merry and Pippin slipped through the door of The Gilded Swan, a small inn in Bucklebury which was a favorite Brandybuck haunt. It was a quiet night, with only a few locals eating a late supper or having a half with friends. They settled at their usual table and caught the eye of the barmaid. Merry waited until she had brought them mugs and a pitcher of ale, wiped their table with a rag and wandered back to the bar before he broached the subject of the Conspiracy.
“I want you out of this business, Pip,” he said in a low voice. “It’s not just a matter of a jaunt through the wilds anymore. It’s going to be dangerous.”
Pippin gave Merry an unreadable look. “If it’s so dangerous that I can’t come along, then I don’t think you should go, either.”
“Someone has to go with Frodo.” Merry was surprised that Pippin was so ready to abandon their cousin. “You know we can’t let him go off alone. He’ll need more than just Sam to look after him.”
“And you’ve appointed yourself that person without any discussion of the matter, have you?” There was an edge to Pippin’s voice, but Merry tried not to hear it.
“There doesn’t need to be any discussion. I can’t let Frodo go alone, and I can’t let you come. It isn’t safe.”
Merry wasn’t sure how he expected Pippin to respond, but what he did not expect was laughter, which is just what he got.
“Meriadoc Brandybuck, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say, and I’ve heard you say some truly absurd things.”
Merry flushed but refused to give up. “You’re too young. You’re still almost five years from your majority. I don’t have your parents’ permission to take you away from the Shire.”
“Too young, you say,” Pippin responded casually. Too casually. “I suppose that means I’m too young for...other things as well. Unless you’ve obtained my parents’ permission for that.”
Oh, this was not going at all well. But then, he hadn’t truly expected it to go well. He took a large taste of his ale before starting again, “Pippin--”
“What are you trying to say?” Pippin interrupted Merry, “that you love Frodo more than I do? Or is it just that you’re tired of my company? Is that it? If it’s just that you’re ready to move on, then you should say so. I can move back to the Smials tomorrow. I’m overdue for a visit with my family anyway and they’ll be more than happy to have me stay there this time.”
Merry felt a hint of panic at this. Pippin couldn’t mean that-- and yet, he looked quite cool and calm, sitting across the table from him. Refilling his mug, he drained it in one go before filling it again.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Pippin. Listen, dearest, I just don’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you out there.” Sweat was beading on his forehead and he wondered when it had got so hot in here. Taking another large gulp of his ale, he began to wish he’d never brought this subject up.
“So you’ll go, in order to watch over Frodo--but who will watch over you?” Pippin inquired, finally beginning to sound angry. “Do you think I could bear to sit at home and not know if you were alive or dead, each and every day?” Now it was Pippin’s turn to take a rather large gulp of ale. “You might as well forget this truly foolish idea of leaving me behind, Merry, because you know it will never happen. I will come with you, or I will follow you, but I will not be left behind.”
Pippin’s eyes were snapping in anger and determination, and Merry swallowed what he’d been about to say. He had quite clearly been outmaneuvered by the wily young Took, at least for today. Shaking his head, he finished his ale and moved the conversation to other topics, but he didn’t an easy breath until Pippin’s face lost that hard edge and he managed to get his cousin laughing again.
Once again, Merry was brought out of his thoughts as Pippin tossed uneasily, crying out sharply once before sitting bolt upright. Merry sat up quickly as well, grabbing Pippin and holding him tightly. The younger hobbit made no more sound but stared about wildly, white-faced and shaking in Merry’s arms.
“Shh, it’s alright, Pip, I’m here. You’re safe.” Merry murmured soothing nonsense until Pippin relaxed in his arms, twisting around to rest his head against Merry’s shoulder, breathing deeply as he tried to control his fear.
“Oh, love,” Merry murmured. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” Pippin mumbled thickly. Another deep breath and he pulled back, although he stayed within the protective circle of Merry’s arms. “I’m sorry to wake you,” he apologized quietly.
“Well, you didn’t wake me, truth be told,” Merry admitted. “As a matter of fact I was just thinking that what I needed was a cup of warm milk. Would you like some?”
“Mm, that sounds nice.”
“Do you want me to bring it in here, or shall we go out to the kitchen and see if there’s anything interesting in the pantry, while we’re at it?”
That drew a smile, still a bit shaky, from Pippin. “I might have a few corners that could use filling,” the young hobbit admitted. “I wonder if there are any of those mushrooms left.”
There weren’t any mushrooms, it turned out, but there was just enough cobbler for two hungry hobbits. Merry heated the milk, adding a dash of honey, vanilla and cinnamon, while Pippin dished up the cobbler. They ate in companionable silence, neither of them particularly wanting to share their thoughts. In unspoken agreement, they washed their dishes before returning to their room. No sense leaving Fatty with extra dishes to wash after he saw them off in the morning.
They went back to bed then, Pippin curling up in Merry’s arms. “I was dreaming about you, you know,” Pippin said, so quietly Merry had to strain to hear him. “In my dream, I let you convince me to stay behind, and then you...you died and I could have saved you if I had been there. I knew that in the dream, but I wasn’t there and you died.”
He turned to face Merry, one hand coming up to play with the tendrils of hair falling across Merry’s forehead. “I saw that look on your face, earlier. Do you understand now, why I won’t let you leave me behind?”
“Oh, my dearest Pip.” Merry kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you pain. I just...” he broke off, resting his forehead against Pippin’s. “I love you, and I worry for you,” he continued eventually. “I know that you have to go, every bit as much I do, and I don’t even want to leave you behind. But it’s tearing me up that I might not be able to protect you, out there. It’s bad enough that Frodo has to go. He must, and there are no choices involved in it. But with you, there is a choice. And I know that choice is yours to make, and you’ve made it. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty and terribly afraid.”
It was Merry who was trembling, now, and Pippin who offered comfort. “Shh, it’s alright. You are a ridiculous Brandybuck, you know. It’s going to be all right, Merry. We’re going to protect each other, and we’ll both protect Frodo, if Sam allows us to do so.”
Merry smiled a bit at that. Sam could be a bit possessive of Frodo at times. He wasn’t going to complain, though. Without Sam, both of them would have been left in the dark as to Frodo’s plans. Sighing deeply, Merry kissed Pippin softly and closed his eyes. It was late and morning would be upon them all too soon. Pippin shifted slightly in his arms, settling down into a more comfortable position. Within a few minutes his breathing had evened out into a gentle snore. It was only a few minutes more before Merry joined him in sleep, hoping they weren’t making a mistake, but content that they would be together, whatever they might face.
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Date: 2004-12-02 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 05:23 am (UTC)*hugs you back*
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Date: 2004-12-03 04:54 pm (UTC)*sigh* Absolutely perfect. I loved this - you did a wonderful job of expanding it! :)
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Date: 2004-12-04 08:13 pm (UTC)